Algarve Walks – Style not Destination
Coronavirus has changed virtually every part of everyone’s lives, but one less significant but nonetheless intriguing development I’ve spotted is akin to a Monty Python observation.
As with a number of countries around the world, here in Portugal the rules are that you can only leave your residence for essential trips – including shopping or short duration exercise. (NB cycling for exercise is not on the acceptable list so all the MAMILs are saved for those of you in the UK – good.)
To prove that people are being good citizens when they are out and about and definitely do not warrant a stop from the friendly GNR then there needs to be a way of illustrating this. So in the same style as a child pretending they are asleep by scrunching their eyes as tightly shut as possible there has to be an exaggeration of some sort.
Firstly, we have the arm swing, if the rotation about the shoulder can make a full 180 degrees then this must prove that it’s not just any walk we are engaging in but a full-on bona fide POWER walk. Woe betide anyone that gets in the way of this back handed uppercut as they will be floored. The fact that a majority of people are still going no quicker than a gentle stroll is absolutely besides the point – it’s only the arms the authorities are interested in, it says so in the State of Emergency decree*.
Secondly, the carrier bag carry. As well as being able to leave the house to shop, there is the provision for walking your pets. So why not cover all bases – take your shopping bag for a walk….. and I’m not talking about bags for life or a hessian number that declares you love your postcode (which in itself is weird enough) but a simple, marine-life strangling plastic bag. Of course it is good to recycle and you should take it back to the supermarket with you, however, it will fit in the smallest of pockets for the journey to said premises and does not need to be carried along empty, billowing out like a windsock. Just because I carry a wand, I cannot perform magic….
The best way to ensure you will be okay if you are stopped by the GNR is to only be out if you have a valid reason.
#fiqueemcasa
* For the Diane Abbott’s out there – this is not true…